I was chatting with a friend of mine this morning and we talked about the industry and how much it has changed over the years. Then the subject switched to working with relatives and close friends. This brought me back to when I had my nail salon and how I ran that whole business by myself for ten years. It was not an easy task but I did the best I could with the resources allowed. There wasn’t a lot of technology back then either! There was no google, iPads, androids and computers…they weren’t readily available, you really had to know your stuff and use your common sense and noggin!
Another friend of mine just recently closed her business that she co-owned with a dear friend, but she found out later on that she would be doing most of the work while her friend just sat around and basically did nothing but collect monies from her, that didn’t end well either.
That got me to wondering, is it ever a good idea to work with or do business with your family members or close friends? I don’t think its a good idea and let me explain why…
I’m one that feeds off of positive energy, I am very hyper by nature, always moving and shaking, I need to be mentally stimulated at all times. If you are a sour puss, move slow, have low self esteem, negative, needy, shy its safe to say that we are going to have some issues and its probably best that we don’t conduct business together lol. I LOVE creative people around me. For a perfect example, people that attended my birthday party a few weeks ago, was filled with a room full of creative, like minds and Gemini’s lol. I don’t know what that was about lol. Gemini’s aren’t hard to spot in a crowded room either. We are loud, eccentric, fun, social and the life of the party!
Over the last several months, I have been asked to do a lot of campaigns lately and they wanted to include my daughter Dootie. Dootie is my ride or die don’t get me wrong. She loves what I do but to a different degree. I’m not talking about my child at all but just explaining how hard it is to work with someone in your family. Everyone think its really cool that I have a daughter that loves to do hair & makeup but little do you guys know, that can be a chore just to get her to even curl my hair lol. Its always a battle, argument or whatever and she has her own life too. I was the same way when I did nails years ago. I didn’t want to be bothered with doing family members because they always wanted their nails done for free or complained too much, so I wouldn’t do them at all lol. I totally get it.
So I try my best not to bother Dootie and when she has time or feels like it, then I ask, otherwise I do it myself or go to another professional. Thats just the way it is, and I totally understand and respect that. She also has a different personality than me and she’s way younger. Dootie is more reserved and quiet normally, she gets moody when things are not in her favor or if she gets bored, it can sometimes bring negative energy in the air or room but thats most kids anyway if its not something centered around them. Say for instance our photoshoot the other day. I can shoot for hours on end, where she is over it after the first look lol. Its totally two different experiences for both of us lol. I don’t know if she does it just to appease me but she gets through it but she is not in the best mood most of the time. I like to be surrounded with lively and upbeat people when I am on set. It makes for better pictures etc. So I try to do things myself or alone because I know my child and what she is capable of. I always ask, warn her and so on but she still doesn’t open her mouth to let me know if she really wants to do it or not. While some might think, why didn’t she include her daughter or take her here or there, its always more to the story, trust me lol. Sometimes its better that way and less confusion and sometimes a peace of mind. That’s why I always say looks are very deceiving and to never judge from the outside looking in…wink!
It’s really hard to find good help nowadays and knowing who to trust. Majority of us want to work with people we know or thats in our family or a close friend. That can be a headache or a nightmare too! We seen that with reality star Kandi Burruss’s assistant Carmen and her manager Don Juan. Both have been friends with her for years, so she has provided them with a great lifestyle but I don’t think that they take it serious or her, just my observation. Thats why its such a touchy subject matter geesh. What do we do? I know for me, I get tons of emails from strangers asking to work for me, some even willing to work for free but I just feel like I don’t know them enough and what if something happens? So, I don’t do anything and do it all by myself. I guess because I have seen so much with folks and their behavior and I just do not want to end up on the 11 o’clock news lol. I have learned over the years and I am just really cautious with my brand and personal information.
When working with friends and relatives in the past, they just seem to have this very relaxed attitude and they just don’t seem to take their job serious or get it. My husband at first, really didn’t take what I did serious and would get through stuff but at a slower pace. My kids REALLY didn’t take what I did serious(and still don’t) and friends just think I’m just playing around. They all like to reap the benefits though of going to events, movies, getting freebies etc but still say, “oh she’s just a blogger” without really knowing how much hard work it entails. My daughter saw this first hand when she tried to keep up a tumblr page, true sign that blogging was not for her…giggles! People see what you do and say, “oh I can do that” but really can you? LOL!
Have you guys ran into this issue? How have you overcome this situation? I’m trying to be more trusting but its been really hard for me. My husband use to be my camera guy and my son still shoots for me and Dootie helps me a whole lot too but that’s when she is not with her friends, doing hair or at her job at the mall. I’m just trying to figure it all out too and move forward but it has not been an easy task! If you have any suggestions I would love to read them, please chime in. Till next time! xoxo
Tami, I completely understand what you’re saying but at some point you have to trust someone. I can admit that I’ve been one of those people that’s been begging you to let me work for you, lol. I just admire you alot. Your strength and honesty and motivation. We’ve actually met a few times and you have a wonderful spirit. Hopefully, you’ll be able to find someone that just clicks with your spirit so you can get some help (if needed). In the meantime, keep up the good work!
It doesn’t work for me. I like what I like and want my friends to keep being my friends. I don’t think that I could work long term with my friends. I love them and my work self is very different.