I had a great conversation with my friend Nicole today. I was in tears after I told her how many times I have been disappointed or my feelings got hurt by females and so called, friends. She looked at me and said, “well Tami, I want you to take this lil test that I do”. I looked at her and said, “what do you mean?” She said, “I put my female friends in categories and once you place them where they need to be, you won’t ever feel a certain way ever again”. “You know why, because you will already know not to have certain expectations of them”. She made so much since, how genius! She drew a diagram and told me to place my friends in the boxes that I saw fit. It was difficult to do but I learned so much about me and my so called,”friends”.
The Advocate: These friends are your biggest cheerleaders! They support you and do whatever they can to help you at a drop of a dime! They will fight for you and rarely judge.They are ride or die.If you needed money they would give you their last with no questions. (I only had a couple in this box).
The Associate: These are the people who would support you but really have to think about what it’s for. They can be flakey, fickle and would have to get back with you. If they heard you were down on your luck, they probably wouldn’t give you a call first. They wouldn’t want to be too involved until the last minute. They would loan you money but it would be stipulations attached. They care about you but they just don’t think too much about what if.
The Acquaintance: These friends are more opportunists than friends. What’s in it for me? Will I get recognized or can you introduce me to someone else if I am involved? It’s always drama attached or some sort of pay off that has to be done. You would need to sign a promissory note if you borrowed money from them for sure lol.
The Adversary: These are your biggest haters but fake like their your friend. They can’t stand you but be around you to find out information for their own gain. They only hang around you to be nosey then talk behind your back. They love what you’re doing but will never tell you in your face.Don’t even hold your breath on asking these heathens to help you,you’re better off starving to death! (I had a lot in this box)
I am working on my relationships with my friends. I never really had a lot of female friends because I moved around a lot as a kid, so I never really got a chance to bond with many of them. I do have a bff back home but when I moved south we lost our connection. Now when I try to call it’s babies crying in the back ground and I can hardly get her undivided attention. I am not perfect and at times, I feel like I can be all of these women but God works on me daily to stop my hateful ways. So if you fit into any of these categories that are not becoming try to do better! I am too! I told my daughter when you’re young, you want all the friends in the world. When you get my age, you trying to get rid of folks lol! Try to find that one true friend and hold on to that relationship dearly,good friends are hard to come by! That is all! xoxo
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