Hello my blogging beauties and I hope that you’re having a great day! I wanted to share with you a feeling that I’ve had bundled up inside of me that has been bugging me for awhile now. As a professional blogger, I wanted to share with you some of my experiences and how I overcame some of my obstacles in hopes that I can make you feel better, if you’ve had this same feeling.
First off, I have NEVER been a follower. I follow my own path and do things my way. I never really cared about what others think of me because I’m not put on this earth to appease anyone but God and my immediate family. With that being said, I stopped a long time ago trying to make others happy and trying to fit into groups etc. It’s just not me. Don’t get me wrong, you do need to network and have some type of relationship with others in the “blogosphere world” but I still like to go by my own rules and let the opportunities come my way organically. Meaning, I will NOT kiss your behind for friendship, contacts, referrals etc lol.
I have tried in the past to make friends with others that blog but as we all know, blogging can be VERY catty for those of you that are just starting off. You will find this out sooner or later. You will also learn that the more opportunities you get, the more people will despise of you as well. Besides, mainly it’s a lot of women that blog and sometimes that leads to drama and jealousy. You will have bloggers that like to be friendly competitors, downright mean bloggers and so on. You also have some kind, helpful and friendly ones too. These different behaviors comes with the territory because people want to know how did you got on that press trip, why did she get that campaign, why wasn’t I picked and so on. EVERYONE who blogs feels they are entitled to the same opportunities, when in all actuality it’s not your fault when brands/companies know who they want to select for certain projects. It makes some bloggers become bitter, disgruntle and mean and they take out their animosity on you, when you had nothing to do with anything. Yes folks, get ready!
Blogging can have its ups and downs and you will have good days and bad. Most of the time, I have really decent days with blogging and noone really bothers me but I guess that’s because I keep to myself, I stay out of those secret chat rooms and private Facebook groups or otherwise I would probably get my feelings hurt. Just the other day someone said to me, “you think you’re a celebrity you know”. I didn’t really know how to take that and I looked at my phone and said, “what in the hell was that suppose to mean, when I am just doing what was asked of me” lol. I guess I don’t see what you guys may see. I don’t know if it’s in my writing style, my pictures, people I am around or what but I must really irritate the crap outta some people with my blog posts, not sure what that was suppose to mean but ok. LOL!
That brings me to what I wanted to chat about today. The feeling of not really fitting into any type of group or setting. I have tried to be around other bloggers that have similar interests but it always seems to go back to that pesky ol’ word again, “competition”. I don’t think in my spirit that I compete with any other bloggers or at least I don’t think I do intentionally. People that I have met want to always compare numbers, followers and bring up this or that that they have done and I’m usually sitting there like ok that’s nice lol.
I’ve tried in the past to befriend plus-size fashion bloggers which in result, they tend to treat me kinda different because they say I’m not “big enough”, yes people have said this to my face. I have tried to be around other mom bloggers too but I don’t fit in with them either because I’m “too flashy or trendy” but I refuse to look like what society says a mom blogger should look like. Then one day I said that I’ve had enough and I am just going to stay in my lane and blog about what I want and do me! Once I realized this and put this into motion, it made my life so much easier! It also made me think that…whatever I say, do, wear, blog about, people are either going to like you or not. It’s just the way it is. Guess what though, I am fine with that and I can only be me and will continue to work my butt off and not worry about being accepted into groups that don’t want me around.
Tips that I can share with you, if you feel like you don’t fit in…
Do the best you can do and thats all you can do.
Be polite and excuse yourself if you feel as though someone is judging or treating you different or you’re getting a bad vibe.
Speak your mind but be polite.
You will eventually find a few true blogger friends that have similar interest, it will be tough to find but it will happen.
Search/google on the web for blogger groups that you really enjoy.
Introduce yourself to other bloggers when you’re out that you may feel have the same interest, age, demographics, content etc. Exchange information if you feel a connection, stay in touch.
That’s why you have to love the internet and social media. Your blogger buddy may be in a whole different city!
Trust your gut.
images Stephanie/Instagram/Facebook
I love this post and I’m starting to notice this too. I started networking with other bloggers last year and started seeing the jealousy and bloggers thinking they are above you. That’s why I pretty much stick to myself and do me. Keep doing you Tami and keep up the good work!
Tami you are my favorite Blogger. Your tips were spot on. Thank you for sharing. Just keep doing you and floating above the rest.
I am so happy to read this! I know we talked about a little of this at the event but you are so right Tammi! I told you before I dont fit in because girls my age are all doing the same thing; fashion blogging, hair blogging, beauty blogging, etc…I am like a combo of them all.
I have been like this my whole life I am not a clique. I dont have to outcast anyone to feel like I need to fit in. I want to fit in everywhere there is good energy. Why do I have to choose or be in a box. Thats the worst thing you can do to an Aquarius to stick me in a box. I really love this blog post because it speaks so much truth!
Even the part about the more campaigns and sponsorships you get, the more you kind of get outcast-ed. Been there felt that too! Thanks for the post it was refreshing to read!