‘funny stories’

Lisa Wu Hartwell’s viewing party recap

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

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Jonell,Lisa,Jamie and I

As I type this blog post ,I’m over here still laughing out loud at all the things that happened last night. I woke up in tears and could not stop thinking about all the fun drama that went on lol. Ed & Lisa Hartwell came and picked me up and we zoomed downtown to Ixtlan Restaurant and Lounge for Lisa’s special viewing of Tyler’s Perry’s Meet the Browns. When we got there, it was crowded and alot of their close friends and family came out to support her.

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Lisa’s Agent Margo Gabriel & Evan Stancil-Flading

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Jamie,Tracy and Lisa

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The Hartwells and The Ragins

As they played the show on the big screen, we started to cheer when Lisa walked on. She played a fitness instructor. I was so proud of her and she looked so pretty. I liked her second scene in the show because she wore a pink workout outfit, so you know I was loving that! She did a great job and I can really tell that Lisa loves to act. She is a trained actor, so she played the part well. She auditioned liked everyone else for that part and got casted by Alpha Tyler Casting. Jamie Foster from Sister to Sister came out,JaQuitta Williams and Lisa’s agent Margo Gabriel and her wardrobe stylist Tracy Sipp were also there. She wanted to keep the party private and intimate. This show will air this wed at 9pm on TBS.

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Lisa and Jamie Foster

Part two: The Drama

NOW you know I’m about to Spill the Tea at all the drama that unfolded at the partee! First of all, I got to meet Tracy’s friend Conrad! Conrad was dressed to the nines as he came in and just shut the whole situation down! After alot of people left, was when the real fun began! Now you guys know that I’m not a night person, so I had to get several sodas to keep my energy up. Lisa was in rare form and prancing around the whole night in YSL stilettos,still being a worker bee…I can’t! I thought I was hyper but she has me beat by a long shot lol.

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Jaquitta Williams and Conrad(from JaQuitta’s mobile upload)

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Hasani Taylor Anderson and Lisa

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Tracy Sipp does alot of industry work and owns Fresh Faces. So he was the first to show me how to work a red carpet and pose correctly. He called Lisa over and she showed me the stance and how to work it! I was stiff as a board and needed alot of practice but Tracy stepped in and got me right together! So now I got my Haute Pose 101 down pack, watch me work next carpet ha!

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Striking a pose with Tracy

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  • Stand side ways
  • One arm back on hip
  • Chin up, looking straight ahead
  • Sexy Eyes(google Sheree Whitfield/Victoria Beckham they do this best)
  • One leg out, the other back and toe pointed

Next Conrad and Tracy showed Lisa and I how to properly hold a designer handbag…what? I’ve been a lady all my life and I never knew that I was carrying my purse incorrectly! They said, “No sweetie, when you carry thousand dollar bags, there is a correct way bitch! They said that didn’t they! POW!

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Lawrence(from Atl housewives) is the master at this!

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You better work Victoria Beckham!

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Kim’s got it down pack too

  • Facial expression
  • Confidence
  • The label has to be seen
  • Purse dangling on arm with arm extended
  • Never ever carry designer purse on shoulder!

So as you see we had so much fun and with all the commentary that went along with it,we laughed so hard! The bickering between Tracy and Conrad was classic. The eye starring and gestures were to die for you guys would have been on the ground! They also kept saying, ” Catch it!” and “Noo Mam!” Dying!

Later we left and went to IHOP because everybody was hungry. At this particular time,I was thinking to myself that I would have been in my 2nd dream by now lol. I was held hostage and had no car to drive home, so what was a diva to do? I had to tag along,poor me! Who keeps a mother of two and wife out so late? I was enjoying every moment though and couldn’t wait to see what was going to happen next!

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So we get this waitress that well, just looked like she was a lil slow. Leave it to Conrad to say something to this lady and she went off! Mind you we hadn’t got our food yet! I don’t remember what he said but all I know was that she told him off! She told him this was just her job and that she was bettering herself and the next thing I know, Conrad looks at me and says, “did she just give me a bun?” I’m looking at Conrad like what? He said, “she fixed me and she braided my hair up in a bun!” I was still lost and I finally figured out that he meant that she read him(told him off) lmao!

I laughed so hard and I’m laughing right now because of how his face looked. He said it with so much facial expression, you guys had to be there. Plus his hair is short and he pretended to have long hair as he swept his make believe long tresses backwards behind his ears.Then he made this smirk and it was over for me!  I almost used the bathroom on myself. Omg you guys had to be there! It was alot more that went on but I’m trying hard to keep it clean but it was the funniest stuff going on! I want to thank Lisa and Ed for a wonderful time and Jonell Pr for inviting me out. This was definitely a great event with fun friends! Cant wait for the next episode! Thanks also to Paras Griffin for snapping some shots too!

Dear Girdle, I love you but I hate you!

Wednesday, December 30th, 2009

 Dear Girdle, I love you but I hate you!

So all the craze is about these darn body shapers and body magics argh! I was a big dummy and bought about 4 of them because I like to look neat on the red carpets. Nothing like seeing somebody jiggling down the red carpet and it’s not becoming lol. I was at this mall outlet last year when I saw these body shapers hanging up at this stand and was curious to find out what the heck they were. The lady spoke very little english but she said Beyonce wears our shapers. I’m not one to buy something because a “celebrity” wears something at all but I was willing to hear her out even though it was hard to understand her.

She proceeded to tell me how it makes you look less lumpy and pointed to a couple of my rolls,what the heck, Yikes! At first, I started to get an attitude but checked myself and said, well I think she means well, lol. So she showed me some different kinds and I was hooked. Not thinking what was in store for me lol. Keep reading!

So there they sat for like months before I decided to try one out. Most carpets that I attend or events I go to, I wear just the biker shorts kind of girdle and be done with it. Nothing moves when I wear it  plus it’s real easy to get on. This time around, I was going to a really huge event and it was black tie and formal gowns, so I thought I would pull out my new full body shaper. When I took it out the package, I was like,hmm this doesn’t look so bad to get into, lets go for it!

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Lawd!!!! It took me and my hubby about 15 minutes to get me into this thing! I almost sweated my hair and my makeup off tussling and twisting trying to get into this thing. Worst than that, my son came in the room after hearing all the noise asking me when he entered our room,”hey ma what are we going scuba divin or something”? Flatlined! I tried to not to laugh but that was funny as heck!

After finally getting into this thing i put my form fitting dress on and I looked marvelous pow! Everything was sitting up and perky and my booty was like pow bam! I was feeling hott to trott! I was loving it! It was worth every penny I spent!

 Dear Girdle, I love you but I hate you!

Little did I know, I had to sit down in the car and drive in it,omg! I was grabbing as much air as I could  like I was in labor again every second because this thing was cutting off my circulation and oxygen! I was cute though, so if I would have fainted at the wheel, I would have been sexy though when the cops found me, wrapped around a pole! lol

So I make it to my event breathing but woozy and proceed to walk into the event.I’m getting light headed and have to sit back down, oh lawd! The guys are looking and making eye contact.  I’m like, ok hold on I can get up and keep it moving lol. My girlfriends that met me there walked over to me and immediately says, “Girl you  lost weight”? I’m thinking to myself, no I didn’t its my shaper but I take the compliments anyway, ha! Throughout the night, people kept telling me how nice I looked and that I was slimming down, I was a happy camper! Even though I couldn’t breathe and I was light headed,I felt good,tee hee. I was praying that I didn’t have to sneeze because it would have not been a pretty sight at all lol.

I drove home after the amazing event and then it hit me! My hubby was not at home! Yikes, how was I going to get out of this thing? Plus I had to go to the bathroom! I really started sweating,but came to the realization that I was on my own! I struggled,jumped up and down,wiggled,stretched out in the bed,scooted on the floor and at last, I was free. I never scratched myself so bad in my life and have the scars to prove it from scratching so hard,omg! It felt good,especially under that bra line, yes lawd!

So the moral to this story is, ladies we always pay for beauty,it’s so wrong! Why do we continue to do this to ourselves? Pain is beauty as they say! I love my girdle to death, but I hate it at the same time! What can we do? Until I hit the gym, I guess I will be looking a hot mess trying to get in and out of this contraption but looking glamourous in the end, beauty sucks! lol